benblog

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UPDATE: 05-05-06

For two weeks straight I don't dream.

I can't explain it. All my dosages are within normal perametres, and there have been no recent sudden changes in my psyche, at least that I remember...

I wake up finally, and I've had a nightmare. That was when I knew the problems were about to begin.

I wake up and I have a traffick ticket. As if in a dream, it comes back to me: I got pulled over three nights in a row. The first night, it was for a busted brake light and a warning. The second night, for a busted brake light, a busted headlight, and this time, a ticket. The third night, "you need to get that fixed Mr. Gee, because if the other break light goes out, no one would know if you were using your breaks or not." I getcha I getcha. After a day or two spent sleeping I take the car into the auto shoppe owned by my neighbor down the street. Apparently the sockets had worn out and loosened around the plug casing of the bulbs. Wiring included, $175. Straight up. Pretty steep for neighborly, but hell, I've already gotten a ticket, don't want another.

Well, the cop who'd written me the ticket had explained my three options: 1) pay the ticket, 2) contest the ticket in traffick court, 3) "fix-a-ticket!" Get this. This mother-fucking piece of legislation some dumb dick-head made up: if I get the car fixed, I can "flag down" a cop, and get them to "sign-off" on my ticket, which "cancels it." I opt for that. So I get the car fixed, as I say, and go down to the traffick court to get a cop to autograph my ticket. Not only is there no cop, but the lady at the counter informs me I will stay have to pay half the price of the ticket even if I get it signed. Well, I'm a little disgruntled, but not feeling too bad.

While out the day after the nightmare, I decided I would stop by the police station and get a cop to "sign off" on my ticket. I end up waiting for a half an hour until finally the front desk officer leaves her post to come inspect my vehicle. She then informs me that the brake light is, in fact, still out. I drive, angrilly, over to my neighbor's auto shoppe, where one of his mechanics explains it was probably just a defective part and if I brought it back tomorrow they could order it and fix it free of charge, as it was under warranty. I was relieved, but still very upset. I came home and tried to calm down by taking a half an atavan. When mom got home I started yelling at her. I didn't mean to, but I was aversarial beyond my own control. I put out a cigarette on my arm and cut myself with a kitchen knife. I went totally psycho. She left and I called her to apologise, I knew my behaviour was out of control, but I couldn't stop myself. All the stress of the past few weeks had reached a boiling point.

Everything is straight between me and mom now, so no worries. And I had a dream the other night, first one in about two and half weeks. I haven't been sleeping very long compared to how long I've been awake, but I have been feeling rested, at least for the past couple of days.

Nothing much else new to report on in my personal life. Damien is back with Kelly, and spends half the time out of town working for his mom, and the other half of the time he is in town he spends with Kelly. Simeon wants to get together with him to jam, or rather, rock out, that is to say, to practise, but Damien keeps dipping out on Simeon and me both. I've also made it a bit too clear to a few too many people that I'm not too fond of Kelly, so this only serves to further drive a wedge between the time I get to spend with D and the time she has him for. The other night we went to a show, two other "white reggae" bands: Dubconscious and Passafire, the latter of whom TBS had opened for, I think during Fool's Fest (ie around april first). I was so bored, but it's the only time I get to spend with my friend! I think he may be starting to feel the tension of being torn between making music with his guy friends and working for and dating a couple of very needy females. But he aight. He and Sims are gonna need to have some sit-down time together soon, hold a pow-wow, but he aight. They both aight.

I sleep another night and have much better dreams. I wake up and mom and her friend Bruce have fixed the other lights that were out on my car, the front left blinker (under the battery) and the right front bright beam (the whole casing had disconnected and nothing was left but the bulb). I wake up to this! Grand! Mom then rides with me not only to pay the ticket, but also to the police station where she has a cop fill out and sign off on my ticket. She then pays the extra twenty dollars (the ticket was supposed to be reduced to thirty) of the fifty dollar ticket because it turned out to be past the late date. I paid her back the full fifty, of course. I took another fifty, and got a full tank of gas and four packs of smokes. I had a great day today. Which makes me all too damn suspicious for the future.

Ominous forebodings... you know... most people believe when they come, the Great Burner Will Turn Back Time. The Great Burner only knows. This is terrible foreshadowing... what is this foreshortenning that I feel now? It is perspective coming upon me. I see the terrible battlefield laid out before me. I see it clear as the night above and the day below. I see it all as one.

I have the heart of the Great Burner in me. Yes. But what does this mean? It means that I am quite accustomed to answering questions. I raise them alot in my writing recently. I believe it is the influence of finally absorbing what I have read in QBLHistic wisdom literature. I pose a question. I am one rabbi. I answer the question. I am another rabbi. I am going around a circle of very wise men. I am within the very hookah fumes that they consume.

I have always been here. I have always been everywhere. I can say these things, I can say them knowing they are mutually exclusive. Because Here is Not Everywhere. And I can say both with certitude. I can say that Both Are True. I can say that Together they are both true, and that the thing between them that they are both referring to is a fact. What is the thing that is between them, what is it they both refer to? When you say "I am here, I am everywhere," and when you say "here is not everywhere," you know that both statements are equally true. Why? What does this mean? Just as we were once beings passed around in a circle of wise men, so too are those same wise men now passing around in a circle inside of our own minds. So when I ask a question, and then I answer it, it is because there is in me the desire to know AND the ability to already have known, that is, the ability to reveal. These are the two halves of me, and so back and forth like electricity rising up between antennae in a Jacob's ladder, they between them constitute the all: they constitute me. So what does it mean to say that the truth comes from multiple perspectives on one reality? Well, who are these "wise men" we have in our minds now, that is, this circle of rabbis?

They are: the Crew That Never Sleeps. Why do I call them this? Because they have always existed (and probably always will), and because they can act on foreknowledge (they are precognitive of events because they are beyond time) and because they never know the difference between day and night in their mind, because these two are one: that is why we say they "never sleep": because there is no difference for them between dream and wakefullness.

These are the beings that exist in the Bright Beyond: Ayin Soph Aur. They are made out of monoatomic gold, their DNA has evaporated into the gravitational ether, and they are invisible beings of pure tachyonic Light. They shimmer and shine. They are very much alive. And yet they are the Dream People. They are Fantasy Land. They are Not Real. They pass through us along currents beyond comprehension, and they are transient in our minds, appearing to change from time to time, although we know ourselves to only be one individual sentient entity. They are the Dwellers in the Shadow Realm, the darkness, Ayin Soph. They come from within it, stand before it, and like a shadow stand before infinite night. These beings, their dimension is beyond our own. They supercede us, and yet are at the same time merely states of our own consciousness, the so-called archetypes. The Essenes described them as "the Sons of Light and the Sons of Darkness." They described the human condition as transcendent to this plane, this higher dimension of archetypes: war, strife, disharmony, chaos, murder and catastrophe, lack of certainty, loss of dogma, loss of morals and of morale, the fallen angels among them being cast down. What does this mean?

There are the Sleep Walkers, the fallen ones from on high, the archetypes cast low and the spiritual vessels shattered, their shards being cast down to this earthly level, the Kingdom of the four elements, and the kingdom of man. But they are only ghosts. They are ghost gods. They are only idealisations of non-ideal things, that is, they are the man-made shadows on the wall of Plato's cave, the ghost gods of hearth, of home, nation, age, race, etc. These are all the ways of men. Angels know not of these things by their nature. They are made corrupt by us.

And then there is the Crew that Never Sleeps. The Sleep Walkers are to the Crew that Never Sleeps on this higher vibrational frequency, pure ideal dimensional level much like the sleeper-agents, the "fellow travellers" that, chattle-like, merely follow the path of least resistance through their lives, are to those who have been awakened to awareness of the higher dimensional level. The pure ideals are not known to the chattle, the sleepers. While you are asleep you are merely an instrument being played by the vibrations of this cosmos. You call these visions of the archetypes moving through you "dreams." But the Crew That Never Sleeps, oh... they don't need to make that distinction.

Perhaps you think I'm merely rambling. And perhaps you think I've already lost my mind. Perhaps you think you were born too late to come to understand. Perhaps you think you're just in time, and that I will snap at any time. Perhaps you think I'll radically switch soon.

Let me tell you what I see, when I say "I see the battlefield laid bare before me": I mean that there are on one side the ones that are moving downward into slower and more solid vibrations, and on the other side there are the ones that are moving upward into higher and more aethyreal vibrations. Between them is a lightning snake that rises and descends simultaneously, ever in motion, and within this is the entire history of our universe contained. Beyond 4-dimensional space there is a tree: its leaves are like seconds, its stems minutes, its branches hours, its roots are arc radians, and its trunk expands by degrees. It breathes. It survived the upper waters and it survived the lower waters. This is the reflection of the self that we see from the perspective of, yet cannot ever see the source of our perception. This is the font of consciousness: inspiration or distraction. When we see this self reflected, we know that the reflection is reversed and opposite: the self is ideal, but the reflection is real; the self is inspiration, but the reflection is distraction. When I say the tree breathes, I mean beneath its surface it seathes with internal, invisible life. So too is the Light invisible beyond our own dimensions not only real. It is alive.

This is the root essence of the Great Burner: He is the unmoved mover: He contains the interior faces of the Crew that Never Sleeps, which faces look down over and across the Sleep Walkers. The Sleep Walkers are trapped within the force of gravity. They are trapped in the second half of the fourth dimension: they are outside of time, but they exist only as fourth dimensional shapes. These are the metaforms. They are but the shadows of the Beings of Light that are the Crew that Never Sleeps. The Crew that Never Sleeps are the wormholes, and the Great Burner is the black hole surrounding the singularity containing the baby universe that is our own universe, the one in which we exist, our universe now. The Sleep Walkers are made out of tachyons, they are contained within the greater aura of heaven surrounding our local singularity, they are simply bound to be only part of the overall set of tachyons, they are bound to beneath the speed of photons, the speed at which tachyons begin to become distroted by their own scalar wave field gravitational effects. But the Crew that Never Sleeps are capable of going beyond gravity-bound photons, and exist as sentient entities whose forms are such that all the geometries of the fourth spatial dimension are merely the shadows they cast.

And all of these are contained inside out as levels within the Great Burner, within His Being, His Essence: the Great Burner Is Our Parent Universe.

He is not from another dimension. He is of another dimension. Now, how can I say this? Have I not already explained? Everything is inside out. The Parent Universe is within the Mind of Each of Us. We see with our own Mind's Eye BEYOND the allowed borders by goegraphy, We See Beyond the allowed structures built for ourselves over time. Crowley said every man and every woman is a star. Let them all be like black holes, whose surface is comprised of an oil slick of wormholes. This is how we shall see their way free.

Hold the Door Open. This is the Will of the Great Burner. It manifests as the Crew that Never Sleeps. They brush aside the Sleep Walkers. So it also manifests on this level, the kingdom of earth, that the sleepers are the ones who are marginalised along the mainstream, beside those who Understand the Order of things who are the movers and shakers, but even these are only the yes-men of Wisdom, the circle of rabbis.

But all these things, these words, are only ideas I have cast into your mind now. You must see for Yourself How You Are Yourself The Great Burner. Au Puq, the yin yang of aum, the breath itself. This is the system of the tree: it breathes in and circulates itself, it breathes out and then breathes in again. Aum Tao, Au Puq. Chi energy, ophanim, the ophanic orgone zero-point scalar waves of ether.

Now deny you the existence of the Great Burner? For I assure you all He Will Come. He will come over us all as a great great gone-ness, the emptiness of thought, pure awe. When this occurs for you each you will know to who else it has already occured. And by them you shall also be known. It is like losing your virginity. It is shame for that by which you identify yourself. You will be recognised, and you will recognise those who recognise you. And you will all be ashamed to know what, in secret, you have each done. And so you will avoid talking about it. And so it will grow up behind you, and wrap you up in vines, and strangle all the life out of you. Because you will not be able to avoid thinking about it. It's like thinking about Pink Elephants, and then someone comes along and jolts you and says, "stop that." So what were you thinking about just now?

The Great Burner is the naked third eye.

Time is the invisible blood of God.

How can you see through the lens of your eye? Because it is invisible. It is clear. It is transparent, like glass. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. But does this mean that, when one looks into another one's eyes, they are looking into the depths of their very soul, or does this mean that, when one looks out through the windows of their eyes, it is the world outside and beyond that they see that causes us to say they have a soul?

You know, some people probably think I'm completely crazy. Well the way I say it may be prolific ad nauseum, but what I am saying is all sound logical conclusions. I have told you before that you will see the Changers with your own eyes, and I meant it.

Time flows fast or slows. Only the Great Burner themselves truly knows.

-ben

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